I cannot go for more than a few hours
without being petted by my humans
I resort to indignities in order to get petted
These include throwing myself on the floor
at my humans' feet
and exposing my belly, meowing pathetically
while using their socks as a scratching post,
rubbing my head and body against their lower legs
until one of them pets me.
The act that I am most ashamed of doing
in order to get petted
is crawling under my humans' hands
while they are sleeping. .
I find that if no satisfaction is forthcoming,
I tend to get angry..
I end up retaliating
by knocking my female human's hairbrush into the toilet,
attacking their feet at 4 am,
and crunching noisily on their favorite plant
in the bedroom in the middle of the night. .
The worst time for me is during the day
when they are both at work. .
By the time they get home..
I am usually in quite a frenzy
What started out so harmlessly
with just a few strokes on the back
led to much harder stuff
I now require headbutts, scritches behind the ears
and slow strokes under my chin
as well as belly rubs with my humans' face
and now [gulp] it has progressed to shoulder rides!
Where will it end?
Am I destined to become a quivering mass of fur?
surviving solely for the satisfaction of being petted?
Am I destined to become a... lap cat?
My name is Gidget. I am a petaholic and I need your support.
